Im Not An Anger Bag

Sigh. I think Im totally a crap to my JC Frens. I had always been organising gatherings and meetups for the JC clique, but what did I get in return. Nasty words and disappointing words from 1. Well, I think I really ask for it.

When they are happy, they wun't even think who was the one who is always sending smses to all of them to ask.

I decided not to do this rotten job anymore. I have a pride. Shall leave that in me.

There was a mini gathering yesterday and they initiated to go KL. Fine. Mr P asked me yesterday nite about the trip. I cant confirm, though I told him I dun feel like going to KL. I asked him about some details etc, when they going etc... I told thats a norm. Perhaps I should tell him that "Perhaps not KL?" and fullstop.

What I got in return? He told me that Im wasting his time. Fxxx man. Common, do you tell this to your fren? Is this the right attitude? I really think I dun deserve this shit. Why are everyone really treating me like a bag to vent their anger? P, K's gf, come on, Im a human too and I do have feelings.

I told him that he is rude in saying that when he ended our conversation in msn by just leaving the chatroom. I dun understand how he is able to do a frontline job with this kind of bloody attitude, even to his frens?

This morning, I received an offline message as well,

Mr P: ya no worries..
Mr P: the rest didnt even bother to ask you... they even tell me not to try...
Mr P: is that i thought we are friends so long liao..
Mr P: i dont want to miss you out for our gatherings
Mr P: looks like im really wrong in doing that
Mr P: think i ask for it myself...

Well, so what? I should thank him or what? I really dunno as well. Well, of course there are things holding me back as well, but thats too P&C to be shared. Its ok, God knows.

Perhaps as long as we know what we are doing, and not sorry to anyone in anyways, I think thats the best consolation.

Perhaps, "I think I ask for it myself too for organising events and gatherings for this bunch of JC Frens."

Utterly disappointed.